June 2013
dear people who keep making bad superman movies:
look, i get it: superman as a character can be pretty hard to make an audience relate to because he’s, you know, a super man! he has the powers, we know not of them, and while the interesting angle on superman is definitely his humanity y’all keep getting that really wrong, like shamefully wrong, but it’s okay, i understand, it’s hard to write, the shadow of the great christopher reeve movies, shhh, shhh. it’s gonna be okay, let me explain you a thing, there’s an easy solution, you just make this movie:
we open on a twelve year old lois lane in the aftermath of a FUCKSHIT CATASTROPHE. something disastrous has gone down — maybe it’s a massive oil spill, maybe it’s a situation reminiscent of the erin brockovich scandal, this is just a vague concept sketch, fill in what you want. the important part is: it’s a big bad corporate fuckup of the sort that we’re all too familiar with these days, and it’s got lexcorp written all over it. our first introduction to lois is watching her get approached by a patronizing, downtalking reporter and, all of twelve years old, step up to the fucking plate and take him and the company to task in the public eye. she’s the most poised and professional and pissed as fuck twelve year old you’ve ever seen, and she knows her facts, too. the reporter is impressed, but not as impressed as we, the audience, are as we watch her reign back her fear and do whatever she can to help her family, friends, and community.
sharpcut to a guy in a dead run down a back alley; he’s sweating and looking over his shoulder, clearly being chased. the camera pans out to reveal a daily planet logo — because, hey guys, the year is 2013, so the planet’s a 24 hour news network* now. you can argue new york times parallels all you want but the truth is that if superman’s looking for a job where he can a) be apprised of what’s going down with maximum speed and b) have an excuse to be on the scene immediately? then in this day and age he sure as shit ain’t working for print media; fight me. and you know what else, maybe clark’s a fucking camera man because he’s not actually great at reading or writing news because YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES CHARACTERS RELATABLE AND INTERESTING TO HUMAN BEINGS IS FLAWS, F L A W S, THAT IS THE THING YOU KEEP FORGETTING AND IT’S WHY SUPERMAN MOVIES KEEP BEING PAINFULLY BORING, ugh, whatever, moving forward.
Today my art history professor gave some words of wisdom:
Nude is when your clothes are off. Naked is when your clothes are off and you’re up to something
- The Guardian: Any advice for a 21-year-old who hates their job and has the possibility of traveling the world? And has a boyfriend that they like. (This is for a friend.)
- Rob Delaney: Go do it. Fuck him. Is he a guy in his 20s? Then he's the least significant type of person on the planet. A male in their 20s? Run in the opposite direction. Nothing he says matters; his fears, his hopes his dreams are garbage. Men in their 20s are the worst thing happening on our planet. Go, go to Uzbekistan, go to South Korea, just go anywhere he isn't because men in their 20s are bad for young women.
- The Guardian: So what do women in their 20s do?
- Rob Delaney: Masturbate. Date other women for a while. Use men sexually for a while but don't ever invite their opinion or be bound to them in any way.
Remember limewire
Remember sometimes getting the song you were actually looking for and sometimes getting an mp3 of bill clinton saying that he didn’t have sexual relations with that woman instead
How Are You I'm Fine Thanks: blastedheart said: I’ve always read that the problem with the sternum... →
gingerhaze.tumblr.com
blastedheart said: I’ve always read that the problem with the sternum thing was the “boob shape” thing, but this armor and your explanation surely clarify things :) thanks!Yeah the “sternum crushing” thing mostly deals with molded plate armor, like this:
The problem here…
someone literally just reblogged my gif and said “the tumblr shipping of kirk and spock has begun”
i dont even know how to begin to react to that statement
oh, bless
NO but it will be awesome, can you imagine they’ll be like ‘GEE I wonder if anyone has written porn about them yet, just let me look-OHGOD’
“i’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is”
—people who benefit from the way it is and do not want to change it any time soon and aren’t sorry at all (via baka-ji)
white cis-het males have a problem with social justice because it is the only place where their voices do not matter most
“Every year white people add 100 years to how long ago slavery was. I’ve heard educated white people say, ‘slavery was 400 years ago.’ No it very wasn’t. It was 140 years ago…that’s two 70-year-old ladies living and dying back to back. That’s how recently you could buy a guy.”
—
Louis C.K. (via 30thcenturyboy)
when i tell people my great grandparents were born into slavery people look at me sideways
(via brooklynwaste)
And they act like Jim Crow/Segregation was so long ago too like… ummm no… my parents lived through segregation as children and dealt with integration as teens. That’s how close THAT was.
(via patronsaintofwolves)
Help a girl out. I don’t game, but I know a heap of you do. I’ve just been posed this from a male friend who doesn’t believe women should be catered for in the gaming industry:
Question: how many women would specificly buy FPS because it has a female protagonist holding a gun? Would you?
So. Would you? Hit like if so and do me a favour and reblog. I need notes on this baby.
i haven’t absorbed the nutrients of a man’s broken down ego in a long time i’m starting to weaken
Oh boy I can’t wait for EA’s next game: White Dude with 400 Million Guns Fights A War in a Foreign Country
